The Evolution of 'Feminism' Saddens Me

I was in college in the '60s, when the "feminista" movement took over the thinking of women . . . including me!

Hey, any time you tell people that their circumstances are not of their own doing, you find receptive ears. Anytime you tell people they are victims of the dark side, but you have a way to bring them to the light, well, you'll have an audience.

So there I was, young and impressionable, hearing that men were chauvinist pigs if they helped you with your coat, opened a door for you, paid for dinner, asked your father for your hand in marriage, expected anything homey or caretaking from us.

The root word of "feminism" is "feminine," and that's what always was missing from the movement. The movement highlighted — and still does — the horrible burden of being female. What are these “burdens?”

• Having a uterus and mammary glands to co-create and sustain life became burdens to be eliminated with birth control and abortion. Virginity has become a joke versus a value.

   

• Committing to a man was a burden dispensed with by shacking up or hooking up. This way, there was sex and a modicum of companionship without giving up any power through real intimacy that requires responsibility.

   

• Mothering and child care became a burden avoided with nannies, day cares, and babysitters. The burden of fathers was dispensed with through sperm donations.

   

• Bothering with men at all was a burden lifted in many girl's colleges and women's circles through "social" lesbianism.

   

• Getting a complete education, which means giving due credit to the value and accomplishments of men, was a burden dealt with through women's studies courses that emphasized the universal and eternal abuse of women, and marked anything male as evil.

   

• Acknowledging the importance of masculinity was a burden dispensed with through revisionist textbooks, denigration of the military, metrosexuality, and emasculated male images in media.

   

• Femininity was a burden cured by crass, insensitive, unloving, ungiving, often nasty attitude toward being soft, loving, caring, warm, sweet, sensual, motherly, or care-taking. It’s what led me to write “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands,” helping women realize that their attitudes toward their husbands was downright abusive.

  The young women of today automatically think of themselves as feminists because they've been brainwashed by their mothers and much of society. Problematically, these women, many of whom write to me or call my radio program, don't understand much about the male mind. They are convinced that men should be just like women in their thoughts and reactions and are frustrated when that mentality doesn't work.

  Their men are either withdrawn or hostile.

  Feminist mothers brought up these young girls to have disdain for men and masculinity while seeing themselves as the ultimate power and someone whose every whim wins . . . or else. Generations ago, women were taught to understand the male ego and to use "feminine wiles" to work with, not against, the male disposition.

  Many feminists look at this as unnecessary manipulation. I see it as a gentle way for the feminine to work with the masculine.

  I have told women day after day that, if they want to get something of value out of their men, such as attention, affection, and the plumbing fixed, they are better off being more like a girlfriend than like a fish wife.

  For example, I might say, "The next time your husband does something around the house, bring him lemonade, spill a little on his neck and lick it off . . . he will spend the rest of his waking hours finding things to fix in the house. Isn't that better, and more fun for both of you, than nagging and complaining that he doesn't do anything?"

  From my point of view, the feminist movement has resulted in deaths of millions of unborn children, with millions more children born out of wedlock with no daddy to love and protect them.

  We have children brought up in institutionalized settings, a gross lack of modesty and sexual morality, an explosion of sexually transmitted diseases, and millions of broken homes.

  Ultimately, we have generations of unfulfilled, unhappy, confused, and profoundly angry women.

  When women forgive themselves their petty annoyances and act like their husband's girlfriend, they're happier. When women stay home to raise their own children and enjoy the blessings of investing in and influencing the next generation, they are happier. When women get to experience their man putting them on a pedestal, worshiping the ground they walk on, they are happier. I'm all about making women happy.

  And it’s pretty easy to make men happy.

  It is remarkable that each and every one of the women who has called my show complaining about her husband, and who was then asked the question, "Would you want to come home to you?" has said, haltingly, no. There it is. When women disdain masculinity and their own femininity, all is lost for the family.

  Women who dare to make choices on the basis of what will benefit their children and family are also disdained by the "feministas," I believe, out of guilt. When a woman chooses to be a stay-at-home wife and mother, most women see her as wasting her life, giving in to "the man," too stupid or weak to stand up for herself, too lazy to work . . . and worse.

  The feminist movement has never been about choice because "pro-life" stay-at-home-moms are attacked venomously . . . as well as those who support it. Like me.

  I am 62 years old. I've seen the whole evolution of woman-power and it saddens me. I'm all for equal pay for the same work. Unfortunately, it didn't stop there. And life is not better because of it.