A Love Letter to My Warrior on Memorial Day

Each Memorial Day, as American families are taking the first dip of the summer in swimming pools and picnicking, husbands, fathers and brothers are traversing enemy terrain around the world, dodging the slings and arrows of war and working overtime to keep our nation safe and prosperous.

Mothers, sisters and daughters are maintaining their households, providing for their children and serving as pillars of leadership and shining examples of civic duty in their communities.
 
Sometimes even when we are blessed to be with our loved ones, cherishing the very fact that they are alive, and that we can see and feel and touch them in the flesh, the circumstances are fundamentally different from those in your typical household.

In early 2005, my husband had just returned from the Helmand province of Afghanistan after an IED exploded under his vehicle just after Christmas Day, severing both of his legs. We would go through a life-changing process entailing unimaginable trauma.

But from the pain and anguish of the physical therapy process, to the mental scars, to the sheer disruption of moving to five homes in four months in four states, we were in it together.
 
For those of us who are married to these patriots and heroes, Memorial Day is another reminder of our mission.

While we may be physically separated for months or years on end, our hearts and minds could never be closer. Sacrifice emerges as the predominant theme this time each year. For just as our "quiet professionals" overseas sacrifice for the nation, we sacrifice for them.

But we do not regard the notion of standing with our husbands as a sacrifice; instead, it is a service we were born to handle and thrive in. Memorial Day allows us to pay tribute to our heroes; it allows us to reflect on the way in which their purpose gives us purpose.

As husband and wife we are a unit, dedicated to the moral and just mission of the Green Berets. We know that we are in this life together: for God, for country and for family. Purposeful action is our lifeblood, and it strengthens our bond in a way fundamentally different from the connection developed in regular civilian life.
 
Memorial Day stirs in our hearts a redoubled commitment to do our very best to fulfill our unique missions, including the critical one of sustaining and supporting each other and our families. In separate ways we are each working to be the self-reliant, resourceful, "quiet professionals" standing behind our troops.

The portion of the wedding vow about supporting each other through "sickness and health, until death do us part" is amplified a thousand-fold when you are married to a Special Forces member. And the old saying that "distance makes the heart grow fonder" not only applies double for the spouses of Green Berets, but is also compounded by the fact that it makes us all the more dedicated to our mission.

We express our love and dedication to one another through the sacrifices we make and the responsibilities we fulfill to each other and our family each and every day.

While of course it is painful to be away from one another — and there may be times when we are overwhelmed or beside ourselves with fear — such hardships only strengthen our resolve be tougher as partners. Our beloved warriors are tasked with the salvation of those whom they defend.

This sacred sacrifice is not easy on our families, nor is it one taken on lightly. It is, however, one that makes us love and appreciate each other to a far greater degree through our shared commitment to country and promotion of human dignity for all. For Green Beret wives, Memorial Day is yet another reminder of a life partnership, an unbreakable bond and a dedication to our mission on this Earth.

Jennifer Paquette is Executive Director of the Green Beret Foundation. Mrs. Paquette is the founder of the GBF’s caregiver sorority, the Steel Mags. Jen’s number one and most important position is being the wife of SSG (R) Roland Paquette III who was an 18d (Special Forces Medic) and now an Emergency Room Physician Assistant and owner and operator of Med Training Group LLC. Roland was traumatically wounded by an IED blast while serving in Operation Enduring Freedom giving both legs above the knees.