He probably doesn't have time to vote, what with all that toy-making, reindeer-steering and chimney-dropping, but did you ever wonder, is Santa Claus a Democrat or a Republican?
The Washington Post did, and rounded up the opinions of a gaggle of political "elves" to address this highly important mystery.
Those favoring a Republican Santa won out, with former House Speaker Newt Gingrich telling the Post, "Santa Claus is clearly a Republican. He actually delivers what he promises. He and the elves believe in hard work. He helps children for free — he doesn't put them deeper in debt. He unites all of us in a love of Christmas. He isn't a divider."
Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus gave his reasons for believing Santa to be a Republican: "Imagine a Democrat wearing that much red. If you like your gift, you can actually keep your gift. He looks a lot like Rutherford B. Hayes. Would Mrs. Obama approve of all the milk and cookies?"
Two years ago, in a
Public Policy poll, those questioned overwhelmingly stated that Santa must be a Democrat, by a margin of 44 percent to 28 percent.
Republican lobbyist Bruce Mehlman told the Post, "He's a straight, white, older male running a rural, non-unionized, faith-based small business premised on accountability (naughty/nice list), meritocracy (Rudolph in front) and absence of government intervention. It don't get much more Republican than that!"
Overall, the Post's informal poll found six favoring Republican, four Democrat and two waffling, like Alex Castellanos, Republican media consultant, who told the Post, "He knows if you've been bad or good, which makes him an advocate of meritocracy and, most likely, a Republican. On the other hand, he only works one day a year, which could make him not only a Democrat, but a federal employee."
Former New York Deputy Mayor Howard Wolfson said, "Can I say he is an independent? He insists on accountability and engages in surveillance like a Republican and dispenses largesse with no regard for budgets like a Democrat."
Then again, 30 percent of New Yorkers say they still believe in Santa Claus,
according to a poll by Siena College.
Republican pollster Glen Bolger commented, "Of course, Santa's a Republican. He did build his business himself and has stayed on the job because he knows estate taxes are double taxation. Santa is all of the above on energy too, relying on reindeer power, coal and cookie power to get him through his own Election Day [at least he always wins!]"
Democratic media consultant Paul Begala, though, insists Santa is a Democrat.
"Santa is definitely a Democrat," he told the Post. "Rather than cater to the wealthiest 1 percent, he rewards people who work hard and play by the rules. And while he's not a participant in the first lady's anti-obesity campaign, he's very concerned about climate change. After all, Rudolph can fly but he can't swim."
And then there's Arlo Guthrie in his 1967 hit record
"Alice's Restaurant," in which he proclaimed:
"Santa Claus wears a red suit, he's a Communist.
"And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist."
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