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Thursday Sep 03 2015

The Tonight Show Starring with Kimmel

Today Donald Trump signed a loyalty pledge to the Republican Party saying that he would endorse for president whoever wins the Republican nomination and would not run as a third-party candidate as he has threatened to in the past. And I'll tell you something. When Donald Trump makes a vow, he keeps it. Ask any of his wives, they will tell you.

Our current president, Barack Obama, was in Alaska yesterday where he did one of those things presidents have to do – he joined in for some traditional eskimo dancing at a local middle school. Nobody wins in a situation like that.



The Tonight Show Starring with Jimmy Fallon

Today, a judge overturned Tom Brady's four-game suspension and will let him play in next week's opening game. The judge said, “After careful consideration of the evidence from both parties, I rule in favor of my fantasy football team.”

That’s right, a judge here in New York overturned Tom Brady's four-game suspension. Brady was pretty psyched - but I thought it was a bit much when he dumped a bucket of Gatorade on the judge's head.

I saw that during a town hall in Miami this week, Jeb Bush attacked Donald Trump in both Spanish and English. And later that night, Donald Trump responded in both English and much, much louder English.

Anthony Weiner is denying Donald Trump's suggestion that his wife, Huma, shared classified information with him while she worked for Hillary Clinton. And as we all know, nothing puts a rumor to rest like a denial from Anthony Weiner. “I didn’t send those pics! Oh those pics? Yeah I sent them.”

I heard about a new trend where people make marijuana-infused wine. They say it's the first wine that pairs well with EVERY food.


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