In “Swiped,” the HBO documentary on dating app obsessions, one frequent user reminisces about the good old days of dating: “I do remember when you used to call people on the phone. I think if you called someone these days you'd probably get labeled a psychopath.”
The result is that many 18-to-30-year-olds now spend around 10 hours a week swiping for connections and affection.
What's the appeal? According to a study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationship, dating apps take pressure off people with social anxiety and help ease the loneliness so many younger adults are feeling.
In fact, 22% of adults say they often or always feel lonely, left out, and isolated — and 59% of those folks are between the ages of 19 and 49.
Unfortunately, using dating apps can backfire, creating even more social isolation and discomfort.
Here are some tips for prudent use of dating apps:
• Control your dating-app appetite. Limit use to 30 minutes per day. Don't use it while you're at the office or school. A sure sign of addiction is swiping while hanging out with friends, family, colleagues, or on a date.
• Ease social anxiety. Seek professional therapy. Also work to identify the negative thoughts that fuel your fear of social situations. Then challenge those thoughts.
• Overcome loneliness. Join clubs or volunteer organizations that will get you interacting naturally with like-minded people.
Don't let dating apps swipe your time and attention from the world around you.