Anxiety is like a smoke alarm that alerts your body to a real or perceived threat. Sometimes a real fire can trigger the smoke alarm, but more often it’s just a slice of burnt toast that causes the reaction. The same principle applies to the “smoke alarm” in our brains. We often become anxious over situations that aren’t truly dangerous, and we work ourselves into a stressful state over virtually nothing.
If this happens to you frequently, it may be time to look into behaviors and actions that need to change, says Natasha Reynolds, a psychotherapist based in Toronto. Here are some areas to consider, says HuffPost:
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• Black-and-white thinking. This is also called “all-or-nothing thinking”, says Reynolds. The therapist advises looking into the grey areas of situations. If you make a mistake, instead of berating yourself, understand that it is human to err, and move on.
• Avoidance. Jennifer Anders, a Colorado-based psychologist, says that in her opinion, the number one cause of anxiety is avoidance. “This is counterintuitive to what most people believe,” she says. “Anxiety becomes worse when you avoid the situation, or the place, or the people that trigger your anxiety.” Avoiding making a medical appointment, or a potentially disturbing phone call only feeds the cycle of anxiety, say experts. Take incremental steps toward your goal even if it is anxiety-provoking in the beginning.
• Seeking reassurance. When you always ask for people’s feedback on a situation or incessantly search “Dr. Google” for medical symptoms, you are fueling your anxiety, says HuffPost. Seeking reassurance in the short-term doesn’t pave the way for long-term self-confidence.
• Catastrophizing. Creating the worst-case scenarios for what is likely to happen can cause anxiety, says Reynolds. “According to cognitive behavior therapy, they talk about anxiety being a result of us overestimating the situation and then underestimating our ability to cope with that,” she says. Challenge yourself by asking. “What if it all works out?”
• Negative self-talk. Be aware of how you talk to yourself. Sometimes we are really harsh on ourselves, much harsher than we would be to friends and family. According to Verywell Mind negative self-talk can affect us in pretty damaging ways. One large study found that rumination and self-blame over negative events were linked to an increased risk of mental health problems.
• People-pleasing. Anders says that constantly putting other people’s needs and opinions above your own can create uncomfortable feelings for yourself, including anxiety. This also means you are possibly neglecting your own needs, which also fuels anxiety.
To combat these negative patterns, the first step is to become aware of them. Label your thought patterns as, for example, negative self-talk or reassurance seeking, and shift your focus to the present moment.
Over time, you learn to distance yourself from these thoughts and become aware of them when they are happening. Remind yourself that they are not helpful and are, in fact, not reality, either, says HuffPost. If at-home techniques aren’t working, seek professional help to conquer anxiety.