The father of Sandy Hook gunman Adam Lanza believes his son would have killed him "in a heartbeat" and wishes that the killer had never been born.
In an interview with
The New Yorker, Peter Lanza reveals that he's still haunted by the guilt that his "evil" child killed 20 children and six staff members at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn., in December 2012.
"You can't get any more evil," said Lanza, a vice president for GE Energy Financial Services. "How much do I beat up on myself about the fact that he's my son? A lot."
Adam also shot his mother Nancy, his first victim, and he killed himself after the massacre that led to a national debate on gun control.
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His father, who divorced Nancy in 2009, said, "With hindsight, I know Adam would have killed me in a heartbeat, if he'd had the chance. I don't question that for a minute.
"The reason he shot Nancy four times was one for each of us: one for Nancy; one for him; one for [his brother] Ryan; one for me."
Lanza said that although his "socially awkward" son was diagnosed with Asperger's, he thought that he may have actually suffered from schizophrenia.
"Asperger's makes people unusual, but it doesn't make people like this," said Lanza, who lives in Fairfield County, Conn. "I was thinking it could mask schizophrenia."
But he recalled the times when his son appeared to be a fairly "normal little weird kid." Lanza said he took his to son see Bill Cosby live, and he laughed for an hour straight, The New Yorker reported.
Adam loved watching reruns of "The Bob Newhart Show" and "Get Smart" with his dad. One Christmas, Adam told his parents that he wanted to buy toys for needy children with his savings, and Peter took him shopping to get some.
Lanza added that shortly before the killings, his ex-wife had no idea how dangerous their son had become.
"She never confided to her sister or best friend about being afraid of him. She slept with her bedroom door unlocked, and she kept guns in the house, which she would not have done if she were frightened."
Lanza said he can now only remember the evil that his son was at the end, not the times when he sat laughing with him watching old sitcoms.
"You can't mourn for the little boy he once was. You can't fool yourself."
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