OPINION
Today marks two decades since the murder of the love of my life and his dear friend.
The month leading up to this day has been a whirlwind of intense grief, bringing back the same pain that engulfed my heart and soul back then.
It’s a kind of sorrow that stretches time, making a single month feel like an eternity. I was caught off guard by the depth of my emotions.
Grief is unpredictable; it comes and goes without warning. A relentless cycle, replaying memories like a video on repeat.
It starts the week of my birthday.
The six years I had with Kevin were not always happy.
We buried his mother after watching her suffer tremendously from cancer and then his father about a year later. I tried to help Kevin work through his grief and anger which created a lot of problems in our relationship.
December was never a fun month being that his mother died on Dec. 5, 1999. The day before my birthday. But then in 2004, Kevin turned it into the most memorable celebration, even in the shadow of his grandmother's recent passing.
I can vividly recall the gifts, the laughter.
And then all our conversations leading up to that fateful day, Jan. 15, 2005.
At that time, I believed our lives were finally falling into place, that we were on the brink of achieving the dreams we had shared, completely unaware of the impending tragedy that would shatter everything.
Twenty years later I still remember that day vividly.
I find myself replaying every moment leading up to it, questioning every choice I made, wondering what could have been done to change the outcome. I was on the LIRR on my way home from work. I remember passing the cemetery my grandmother is buried in and praying to her and Kevin’s family for guidance.
I remember the white sweater and jeans Kevin had given me for my birthday and pink heels I was wearing. I got off of the train and got the voicemail that something terrible had happened. I immediately thought it was a car accident.
Who would ever think someone they loved would be murdered?
I remember the gentleman who worked for the railroad pulling up in his teal Geo and asking if there was anyone he could call to come get me as I fell to the pavement in the parking lot of the train station. Then waiting weeks for the funeral which is not a normal process as his body was "evidence."
Having to be carried out of the funeral home, then the court proceedings and then his killers going free, enjoying the very moments they stole from us.
I won't lie; I feel a deep-seated anger towards God for allowing me to experience such joy, only to leave me unprepared for the heartache that would follow.
But none of that changes the fact that Kevin and Mike are gone.
The reality can feel surreal, and I often find myself missing him deeply, pondering who he would have become and what our lives would have been like.
Would we have married?
What would our children have looked like?
Who would they be today?
These are questions that will remain unanswered.
Grief ebbs and flows unpredictably, but today, I choose to honor Kevin through my advocacy work. Despite the overwhelming emotions, it's crucial to continue to fight for justice and keep their memories alive.
I was lucky enough to find support groups like Parents of Murdered Children and LINY POMV that helped me survive my journey through this traumatic process.
In 2017 I learned of a George Soros funded agenda filled with "social justice" reforms that place all empathy and compassion and rights with criminals who intentionally inflict harm upon other human beings over their innocent victims.
I committed to combating this depraved indifference towards human life that plagues society, tearing apart cities and destroying too many lives.
I founded Victims Rights NY which helped elect Suffolk County District Attorney Ray Tierney against a well-liked and hard to beat incumbent. District Attorney Ray Tierney then went on to solve a 13-year old serial killer case, finally delivering a sense of some justice for the victims.
The Victims Rights Reform Council is launching its comprehensive legislative and policy agenda, developed over a year of discussions with victims and survivors from across the nation. While these are major accomplishments, our journey is just beginning.
The grief and despair is filled with hope today as the confirmation hearing for Pam Bondi for U.S. attorney general is today. Knowing we will finally have a U.S. attorney general who cares about victims gives this writer hope.
With Ms. Bondi in that office, President Trump as our ally in the White House, and a supportive Congress, we aim to advance our agenda and address urgent issues, inclusive of:
- Alleged Corruption in family courts and victims of child abuse and the foster care system
- Sexual assault
- Domestic violence
- Assisting victims in rebuilding their lives and addressing root causes of crime in the name if preventing victimization.
As long as evil exists our work will never be done but as we move forward, I remain focused on honoring Kevin's legacy through our efforts for change.
We can and will make our communities safer while assuring victims have the proper support and resources when tragedy strikes and I know Kevin would be proud of that, even if he had to give his life for it.
(A related story may be found here.)
Jennifer Harrison is the founder of Victims Rights NY, and the executive director of The Victims Rights Reform Council.