What would America look like if conservatives had their own territory? Just think, we could celebrate Christmas again, and we could even cross ourselves, pray and honor the Lord in public again without being threatened with jail time. All the aetheists can feel free to stay behind in the old, faithless, America, that is, other than all the Muslims doing their five times a day routine, of course.
By the way, all Muslims (as a true freedom of religion would exist in our new America) are welcome in this new nation, as long as they leave their beheading, kill-the-great-Satan, murder all homosexuals, and Shariah practices behind.
And speaking of homosexuals, they are all welcome to come with us, but that marriage business is to remain in Obama's America. That particularly idiotic legislative attempt stays behind – marriage in the new America is as it has always been and always will be if a society wants to continue to exist – between a man and a woman.
Also, there would be no more unionization of the public sector, and though a lot of unionists would have to be left behind, we would, in our new, free, America, have appropriate worker representation, just not the leftist stranglehold kind. And for another matter, no one in our new America would ever be referred to as “workers,” again. Or “folks.” Or “evangelicals.” And the phrase “middle class” would never again be used, the phrase “middle income” being its substitute.
You see, something that the left has forgotten is that America was meant to be a classless society; no one is entitled to be an elitist. We would actually remember that in our new, free, classless, America.
I'm afraid we would have to leave some of our former faves behind, too, like George Will, Peggy Noonan, Charles Krauthammer, and their ilk, as they have been corrupted by their leftist elitist friends in the current corridors of power. Just about all the MSM would stay behind – imagine never having to look at Mika Breshinski, Andrea Mitchell, Tom Brokaw, George whatsits and Christanne Amanpour again! — though Fox could come along with us, hoping that they whip themselves into shape by then.
Nah, now that I think about it, all current media stays behind and they can report on each other. We’ll develop our own, real, media, in our new, honest, America. Actually, as current excessive tax burdens that hamper business creation and expansion would immediately be eradicated, the business climate in our new America would begin to flourish again, and as such there would soon be lots more news outlets, print and every other medium, that would spring up like mushrooms.
One wonders that as soon as we departed whether Barack Hussein Obama would become the leader-for-life in the new SSA, (Socialist States of America), or perhaps then known as TRAP, (True Republic of the American People, in the Soviet style of nomenclature). We, in the newly seceeded USA, truly wouldn't care.
They wouldn't have any police or firefighters, either, as they would have come with us, not only because they are largely common-sense types, but also because the left remaining in the former USA wouldn't have any money to pay them. After all, don't the leftist bleeters like Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Debbie Wasserman Shultz always say, whenever our side tried to insist on cost-cutting measures, that the police and firefighters would be the first to be fired?
Oh, and by the way, words cannot describe the magnificent joy of our entire new nation's populace never having to look at, and listen to, that unholy triumvirate just mentioned.
And nothing would ever again be George Bush's fault!
I would be sorry to have to say goodbye to California, though, it is beautiful, as is Massachusetts in the fall. But there is nothing to stop a California, or a Massachusetts, or any of the states left behind, to come to their senses, make things right, and come along!
Just do the right thing, and join the fun!
We, however, will not allow any leftists, statists, elitists, Socialists, Clintons, Alinskyites, Obamas, Al Gore or communists in, and that's a hard-and-fast rule. But it wouldn't make any difference to us if the states left behind eventually joined us, or not, though they would certainly be welcome, again in accordance with our rules.
Just saying the word rules brings such joy! And why wouldn't it make any difference, you may ask? It wouldn't make any difference because we wouldn't have the time to care, as we would be too busy enjoying our newly restored freedoms, and having a wonderful time recreating the United States of America.
Secession, come to think of it, is not a half bad idea. Thanks, Rick Perry. You could be our first president, and I promise, we won't ever make you debate.
Susan Smith Mellody has been a magazine columnist, speechwriter, and reporter. She specializes in residential property. For more of her reports — Click Here Now.