Former Nickelodeon star Jennette McCurdy claims that she was introduced to eating disorders by her mother, who also struggled with anorexia.
It all began when she was 11 years old, the "iCarly" actress said during an appearance on the podcast "Mayim Bialik's Breakdown." She had discovered a lump in her breast and, because her mother had previously battled cancer, McCurdy was worried that the lump was cancerous. Her mother dismissed it.
"And I told her and she said, 'You don't have breast cancer, you're just developing boobs,'" McCurdy recalled. "I said, 'Well, how can I not develop boobs? I don't want those. And she said, 'Well, there's a thing called calorie restriction.' Those were her exact words. She did not say the word 'anorexia.'"
The word only surfaced a year later. McCurdy had dropped a notable amount of weight and a doctor mentioned it to her mother.
"I did not hear the word 'anorexia' until ... I overheard a doctor talking with my mom a year later when I had lost X amount of weight and was rail-thin, and it sounded like a dinosaur to me," McCurdy explained. "I remember that distinctly, like: 'Hmm, somebody's talking about me like I'm a dinosaur.' But it was her talking to my mom about my eating disorder, which my mom denied in order for her to be able to support it."
McCurdy said her initial thoughts were that her mother was just "looking out" for her. She began to make excuses for her mother, believing that she wanted her daughter to not have breasts so that she did not get cancer, and that she wanted her to look young so that she could book more acting roles.
In a 2019 opinion piece, McCurdy said she did not "hold this against" her mother, who passed away in 2013 from breast cancer, and who she believes never fully recovered from her own teenage eating disorder.
"I always remember feeling that my mom really struggled with my body, weight and diet. She’d regularly compare my size to that of other girls. She’d portion out my meals for me. She’d help me count calories," McCurdy wrote.
By the time she was 14, McCurdy was battling a full-blown eating disorder, which would continue for several years. It was her sister-in-law that eventually encouraged her to get help.
"I still get eating disorder urges, compulsions and occasional fantasies. I still hear that old eating disorder voice, but luckily I hear it less and less often," she noted." And when I do hear it, I now have the tools to muffle it."
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, call the National Eating Disorder Association hotline at 1-800-931-2237.
Related Stories: