For over 25 years Howard Stern has harbored deep guilt for his acidic "narcissism" that was so prominent on the airwaves back in the 1990s, but his biggest regret remains an interview he did with Robin Williams. In his latest book, "Howard Stern Comes Again," the shock jock writes about his remorse and what happened.
"I was attacking the guy, and he was justifiably furious with me," Stern recalled, according to People. During the interview, the radio host interrogated Willians about his affair with Marsha Garces, his son's nanny who he went on to marry.
"I loved Robin Williams, but there I am beating him over the head with like, 'Hey, I hear you're f—ing your nanny?'" Stern wrote. "I could have had a great conversation, but I'm playing to the audience. They want to hear outrageousness, and that's my arrogance thinking that Robin Williams can't entertain my audience. How stupid am I?"
A few years later, Stern began to see a therapist and has worked hard to turn his life around, but it still took him 20 years to work up the courage to apologize to Williams. But sadly he was too late.
"I was in the midst of tracking down his phone number, and the next day he died," Stern said of the fateful day Williams committed suicide in 2014, according to Page Six. "I'm still filled with sadness over his loss and remorse for my failure to reach out sooner."
The radio host admitted that in those early years he was "just an attacking maniac" who was in a bad space and his behavior was inexcusable.
"My narcissism was so strong that I was incapable of appreciating what somebody else might be feeling," he said, according to Page Six. If he could speak to Williams one last time, he would apologize.
"I would say to him, 'I'm sorry, because I am such a huge fan, and you didn't even know that, and I didn't allow myself to be a fan of yours, and I didn't allow you to have the microphone and entertain my audience, and I learned nothing about you in the interview I did," he told USA Today. "But I was in such a bad place I couldn't allow myself to be a fan of somebody. I was so crazed about ratings and keeping the audience's attention, I had no business conducting an interview with you like that. So, I just want to apologize."