Ferguson Police Officer Darren Wilson told ABC News he is sorry for the loss of life caused when he shot Michael Brown to death during a confrontation on August 9, but added that he followed procedure and would do the same thing again.
ABC's George Stephanopoulos got the first interview with Wilson on Tuesday, less than 24 hours after a grand jury decision not to indict him in the shooting was announced. Rioting in Ferguson overnight left parts of the city in ruins as businesses and cars were vandalized and set on fire.
Wilson said he has a clean conscience about the shooting because he followed procedures.
"The reason I have a clean conscience is because I know I did my job right, he said.
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Wilson gave the same account of events to ABC News as he told the grand jury, saying that the confrontation began when he saw Brown and a friend walking in the middle of the street and told them to get on the sidewalk because they were impeding traffic.
Wilson said he tried to get out of his car, but Brown cursed at him and slammed the door shut.
When Wilson tried to use the door to push him back, "he just pushed the door shut and just stares at me." Brown then started throwing punches, Wilson said, hitting him in the face.
Wilson said witnesses who say he was trying to pull Brown into the car are wrong.
"That would be against every training ever taught to any law enforcement officer," Wilson said.
What followed, he said, "a barrage of swinging and grabbing and pulling for about 10 seconds."
Wilson said he reached out the window to grab onto Brown's forearm to push him because he wanted out of the car so he was no longer trapped.
"I just felt the immense power that he had," Wilson said. "It was like a 5-year-old holding on to Hulk Hogan. … He was very large – very powerful man."
Brown punched him again, Wilson said, so he then began thinking about how he would survive.
"I didn't know if I'd be able to withstand another hit like that," Wilson said.
Wilson said he then pulled his gun and pointed at Brown and told him to get back or he would shoot him. Brown grabbed the top of the gun and said, "You're too much of a [expletive] to shoot me," Wilson said.
Wilson said he could feel Brown's hand trying to come over his hand and get inside the trigger guard and shoot him with his own gun.
"And that's when I pulled the trigger for the first time," he said.
But the gun didn't fire because it was being jammed by Brown's hand, he said. Wilson tried again and it didn't fire again.
"At this time I … this has to work, otherwise I'm going to be dead," he said.
Wilson fired again, and the gun went off. But it just made Brown angrier, he said.
Wilson said he radioed in "shots fired" and requested backup, then chased Brown.
Asked why he didn't just get back in his patrol car, Wilson said, "My job isn't to just sit and wait. I have to see where this guy goes."
After 30-40 feet, Brown stopped, turned and faced Wilson, he said, and put his right hand in his waistband and made a fist with his left hand as he charged the officer.
Brown did not, as some witnesses said, put his hands up in surrender, Wilson said.
As Brown continued charging him, Wilson said he asked himself if he could legally shoot him. "I have to. If I don't he will kill me if he gets to me," he told himself. "Once he's coming that direction, if he hasn't stopped yet, when's he gonna stop?"
Wilson said he fired a series of shots and paused. At least one hit him, he said because his body flinched.
Wilson said he yelled for Brown to get on the ground, but he kept running so he fired another series of shots. Another hit him.
As he got about 15 feet away, Wilson started backpedaling. At about 8-10 feet away Brown looked like he was going to tackle him, he said.
"And I looked down the barrel of my gun and I fired at what I saw was his head, and that's where it went."
Though Wilson said he was sorry for the loss of life, he also said he wouldn't do anything different in hindsight. He told Stephanopoulos that he did what he was trained to do, and that nothing would have been different if Brown had been white.
Wilson said he has a clear conscience, but he understands Brown's parents' grief.
Wilson got married in October, and told Stephanopoulos he and his wife just want to have a normal life. That's it."
Asked if Brown's killing would haunt him for life, Wilson said no.
"I don't think it's a haunting. I think it's always going to be something that happened," Wilson said.
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