The holiday season can bring a mixed bag of emotions. On the one hand, we look forward to family gatherings and breaking bread with our loved ones. On the other hand, there could be underlying tension and apprehension about getting together because of a history of family feuds at the dinner table.

According to the American Psychological Association, 38% of people surveyed say their stress increases during the holiday season, which can lead to physical illness, depression, anxiety and substance misuse. One of the reasons given for experiencing stress during the holidays is family gatherings.

According to Well + Good, a little planning can help prevent disaster.

‘Fighting with family can bring on all sorts of complex emotions, even in response to something seemingly small, because of all the years of history that you have with them,” notes Dr. Neha Chaudhary, a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital. Chaudhary suggests that you give yourself grace and step back from the situation if disagreements develop.

Here are some steps to prevent fights from starting and how to diffuse them once they begin:

• Set boundaries. The best way to prevent fights is to set boundaries before family gatherings. You can let people know as a group or simply state your preferences not to discuss certain topics at the table, If family members violate your trust, feel free to disengage and leave the table to restore your sense of safety.

• Cut each other some slack. You are spending time with these people because you share a connection, so afford them the benefit of the doubt and let some things slide, says Well + Good. The goal is to spend time together and not enter a battle royale.

• Keep it light. “As much as family members know how to push each other’s buttons, they also often know how to make the other person smile,” says Chaudhary. Press the pause button on developing arguments and introduce some levity into the situation.

• Take a break. If you feel tension building, step out of the room, or start a conversation with someone else. Drink a glass of water, as staying hydrated helps boost your mood and your ability to think clearly.

•  Walk away. If you feel the conversation is heading in a dangerous direction, feel free to disengage. Walking away from a fight isn’t a sign of weakness and in fact, can help preserve a relationship. There are physical signs that the conversation is going south, and they include eye rolling, looks of contempt and disrespect, eyes narrowing or shoulders slumping — all of these are signs of disrespect, aggression, and disgust, which are signals that the discussion is about to escalate.

The three major topics that trigger family fights over the holidays are belief systems like politics and religion; global events and social issues; and personal life and decisions. There are ways to handle these topics calmly, say experts.

For example, many families have diverse belief systems, so the best way to handle topics like politics and religion is to listen actively, and if you can’t calmly share your comments or opinions, take a deep breath and choose not to engage and escalate the discussion.

Ongoing global events like wars, protests, or other major news events are almost certain to trigger passionate reactions. Again, its best to assess the situation and decide if it’s worth trying to change minds. “If you feel like you’re entering the conversation with an emotional bat and you’re ready to swing that’s a cue it’s not a good topic to lean into,” says Lauren Cook, a clinical psychologist and author of Sunny Side Up!

The list of personal topics that may come up at family gatherings include your dating life, personal appearance, health and even finances. There may be a persistent relative who constantly presses your buttons about your lifestyle, or your parents consistently voice their disapproval about your career path. Cook reinforces that these conversations rarely end well so it’s important to reinforce your boundaries by gently redirecting the topic. Spread the word that your personal life isn’t up for discussion at the table.