Our thoughts turn to romance on Valentine’s Day. However, as we age, our bodies and minds undergo many changes that often include the way we view and experience our sex lives. In younger years, sex may be primarily a physical act of passion and lust. But as we mature, our sex lives can evolve into something more personal and intimate.

A Harvard Health Publishing special report reveals that for men, sexual drive can slow as hormone production naturally drops, and it is common to experience erectile dysfunction. Women have their own physical barriers to sex, such as vaginal dryness and lower libido after menopause.

“Even though older adults go through physical changes, they often expect their sex life to stay the way it was decades earlier, and that is just not realistic,” says Sharon Bober, a psychologist and the founder and director of the Sexual Health Program at the Dana Farber Cancer Institute, an affiliate of Harvard Medical School.

The first step seniors should take it to redefine what sex means to them now, and not in the narrow, only physical context of youthful coupling. This could mean rethinking how you make love, the frequency of sex, and making compromises about expectations.

“Don’t assume there is only one way to have a sexual relationship,” says Bober. “It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.”

According to AARP, you can enjoy sex even more as you age if you are willing to explore new avenues to accommodate the changes in your life. Think beyond intercourse. There are many ways to express sexual intimacy, according to WebMD. Discuss your concerns with your partner, and if necessary, speak with a sex therapist. Some older couples find that their sex lives are actually better as they age because they have more time and privacy, as well as a history of intimacy and trust.

Bober says that communication is key to building a healthy sexual relationship. Here are some tips on how to speak the language of love with your partner:

• Seek permission. Gently broach the subject by asking questions such as, “Our sex life has been on my mind lately and I wonder if we can share thoughts about it?” This doesn’t intimidate your partner by making demands, says Bober.

• Invite a response. According to Harvard Health Publishing, make it clear that you are asking for feedback from your partner about your mutual sex life so it’s not a one-sided conversation.

• Be clear about what you both want from a renewed sexual relationship. This could be more excitement, greater closeness or even reconnection. “Sharing your needs and expectations helps your partner express theirs, so you both can come to some kind of mutual understanding,” says Bober.

Once you both understand what the other partner wants, approach your new sex life with an open mind. Bober suggests starting with “outercourse,” focusing on foreplay including massages, hugging, petting, kissing or simple snuggling in bed.

This puts the emphasis on intimacy without expectations of intercourse, say she says. “This can take the pressure off both partners and eliminate some of the stress and anxiety of having regular sex. It also shows that you can interact with your partner in various satisfying ways.”

With effort, your mature sex life can reap healthy rewards.

 “In the field of sex therapy, we no longer regard sex as an act, but rather as an experience,” Judy Kuriansky, a leading psychologist and author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to a Healthy Relationship, tells Newsmax. “It’s important to include the buildup and the aftermath as part of the sexuality involved in intimacy. Sex, like any form of exercise, helps build energy and stamina. So, after a brief rest period, use the renewed energy to get creative with your partner.”