A Polish town council has roundly condemned Winnie the Pooh for being an "inappropriately dressed" bear of "dubious sexuality," and concluded he will not be considered for the local playground's mascot position.
During a recent vigorous debate, officials in the small town of Tuszyn turned, one by one, against Pooh, the hero protagonist of nearly a century's worth of books, cartoons, and applique sweatshirts.
The Croatian Times obtained audio of the exchange after it was surreptitiously recorded by one of the councilors and leaked to the local press.
After someone proposed Pooh become the playground mascot, Councillor Ryszard Cichy, 46, became upset.
"The problem with that bear is it doesn’t have a complete wardrobe," he said with contempt. "It is half-naked, which is wholly inappropriate for children."
He then proposed that a fictional bear from Polish lore was more appropriate.
"Ours is dressed from head to toe, unlike Pooh who is only dressed from the waist up."
A fellow councilor agreed, adding helpfully, "It doesn’t wear underpants because it doesn’t have a sex. It's a hermaphrodite."
A third councilor, identified as Hanna Jachimska, ran with the hermaphrodite theory, pontificating about the true intentions of Pooh's author, A. A. Milne.
"This is very disturbing but can you imagine! The author was over 60 and cut his [Pooh's] testicles off with a razor blade because he had a problem with his identity."
The meeting concluded without the council settling on a final mascot, but safe to say Pooh's no longer in the running.
© 2025 Newsmax. All rights reserved.