Simon Cowell said he suffered from depression for years before seeking professional help.
During an appearance on an episode of The Mirror's "Men in Mind" podcast, the "America's Got Talent" creator, 63, revealed that the COVID-19 pandemic was "the real catalyst" for him.
"I've suffered from depression over the years ... but that was just something I just thought, Well, that's my character trait. I get down, and it's something you deal with," Cowell said. "I wish I had done this 10 or 20 years ago. ... It's like a weight has lifted off my shoulders."
Cowell said he was in a constant state of anxiety during the pandemic.
"In the very, very, very early stages, some friends of mine got really ill [with COVID] and I'm talking about really ill," he said. "So, I thought, God, if I catch this, maybe the same thing's going to happen to me, Eric and Lauren," he added, referring to his son Eric, 9, and fiancée Lauren Silverman.
Compounding the situation were all the headlines and the constant stream of news.
"I didn't know what was true or not, I just didn't have a clue other than I was petrified about catching it. Just petrified," Cowell said.
It was only when the world began to reopen that Cowell started paying attention to his mental health and began to find ways to improve it.
"It gave me time to reflect on things in a way I never would have done before," he said. "And as things started to calm down a bit, and it was almost like now I've got to go from there, back into the real world. How do I feel about that? And that's when this whole notion of — I started to hear a lot more people talking about mental health."
It was through the advice of friends that he eventually sought therapy and, after regular sessions, began to process issues he'd been holding on to, including his concern over TV ratings for his shows.
"He [the therapist] asked me, 'Do you consider your best work to be the highest-rated thing you've ever done?'" Cowell said of one therapy session. "And I said, 'No.' And he said, 'So why are you judging yourself on that?'"
Cowell described feeling as if "this massive load" was lifting off his shoulders.
"Now I am happy to talk about it to encourage others, too," he said.
Zoe Papadakis ✉
Zoe Papadakis is a Newsmax writer based in South Africa with two decades of experience specializing in media and entertainment. She has been in the news industry as a reporter, writer and editor for newspapers, magazine and websites.
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