Your Partner Wants to Socialize Without You – Time to Worry?

Most couples, by definition, enjoy doing things as . . . couples.

From the going to the beach to dancing in the ballroom, they enjoy spending spare time and formal time — together.

Still, not every couple fits this dewcriptive mold.

Some couples maintain their independence as singles, usually with the consent of one or both partners.

Questions do arise, however, when one half of a partnership wants to blaze a trail, alone.

Plus One: Better Together

Being part of a couple involves attending events and parties as a "plus one."

This is true whether you are married, just started dating, or are somewhere in between.

Yet, there are significant exceptions to this rule.

Research indicates the exceptions may be met with varying degrees of sensitivity.

Researchers have investigated the role of positive biases in perceiving relationship behavior and rejection sensitivity.

Yet rejection sensitivity is often implicated as a practical matter when one’s partner suddenly wants to venture out alone. It also matters, however, the partner wants to go.

Flying Solo: Yes, Destination Matters

When a partner wants to expand his or her network, consider the type of company they seek. An interest in attending networking events may indicate a healthy desire to expand professionally — even when you are not invited.

There is a reason for this.

A new business executive, or someone changing industries, will accomplish more at a networking event alone, being able to effectively work the room.

Armed with digital business cards ready to share on a freshly charged device to accompany a polished elevator speech, business trail blazers and up-and-comers are there to promote themselves and their company; they are not looking for a date.

Although polished presentation skills often showcase alluring qualities beyond professional prowess, such unintended consequences are usually not employed or perceived in a fashion that would re-classify the event from business to pleasure.

Seeking Socialization: The Pursuit of Potential Paramours

On the other end of the spectrum, if your partner expresses a desire to broaden his or her social circle off-the-clock, consider whether he or she is looking for a new personal relationship or seeking to expand your social connections as a couple

 Destination matters here too; a dive bar yields a different crowd than a special-interest digital chatroom.

Seeking a Blast From the Past

Classmates reconnect at high school reunions — platonically and romantically.

The enjoyment of reminiscing about shared memories and experiences are particularly enjoyable for people who are still single or recently divorced, who may actually be there to reignite old flames or pursue crushes that never caught fire back in the day.

But before you worry that history might repeat itself, consider there may be more to the story. Some people honestly enjoy reconnecting in a comfortable environment with classmates, and catching up.

If that is the allure, you can look forward to hearing updates about characters you have heard about through the years. If not, you might justifiably spend the evening worrying about whether your partner is engaged in character re-development, without you in the picture.

The common denominator in exploring the impetus behind all types of solo ventures is the importance of communication. Before you jump to conclusions, take the time to talk.

Candid conversation may clarify both relationship status and satisfaction — for both partners. One plus one is often the most rewarding way to spend time, together.

The preceding article was previously published in Psychology Today, and is used with the permission of its author.

(A related article may be found here.)

Wendy L. Patrick, JD, MDiv, Ph.D., is an award-winning career trial attorney and media commentator. She is host of "Live with Dr. Wendy" on KCBQ, and a daily guest on other media outlets, delivering a lively mix of flash, substance, and style. Read Dr. Wendy L. Patrick's Reports — More Here.